Don't Know Why
by x-La vie en rose-x
Summary: Fluffy H/R one-shot. Don't own Spooks.


**A/N: I got this idea from (surprise!) a song. Norah Jones' **_**I Don't Know Why.**_**It's set post S9. Not too much drama. And it's bilinear time line. I've put the present in present tense and the **_**past in past tense as well as in italics**_**. So I hope it works okay. Don't own Spooks. Mistakes my own. **

_I waited 'til I saw the sun  
>I don't know why I didn't come<br>I left you by the house of fun  
>I don't know why I didn't come<em>

_When I saw the break of day_  
><em>I wished that I could fly away<em>  
><em>Instead of kneeling in the sand<em>  
><em>Catching teardrops in my hand<em>

_My heart is drenched in wine_  
><em>But you'll be on my mind<em>  
><em>Forever<em>

_Out across the endless sea_  
><em>I would die in ecstasy<em>  
><em>But I'll be a bag of bones<em>  
><em>Driving down the road alone<em>

It's early. Too early. 5:39 in the morning to be exact. To early to be stood on his door step. She raises her hand to knock and it floats in the air hesitant before wrapping her knuckles on the white paint. It's freezing out an she has spent the last many hours contemplating her actions. The sun is unexpectedly peeking above the horizon. Awake all night, her body is tired but her mind is wired with determination.  
>There is no answer. She presses the bell thinking that will wake him. Otherwise she'll resort to pick the lock. She knocks again before she gets out her slim tools. The pick in place the door suddenly jerks open. Harry stands weary-eyed and confused at the intruder polite enough to knock before breaking into his home. She looks up sheepishly at him. His eyebrow raised. His hair disheveled along with his undone robe. She sees his white vest and averts her eyes catching a glimpse of his striped boxers.<br>He covers himself watching her gaze.

'Ruth, do come in. It's a bit early. Or should I say _late_ in our case of last night.'  
>He wasn't going to hide his bitterness. He had just barely fallen asleep when he heard the knocking. And he's exhausted from the pain she continually inflicts. His head and his heart ache from her constant rejection and he is done. All be it the last nail in the coffin.<br>She feels his verbal slap and knows she quite deserves it. This is why she is there, to try to rectify her actions.

_'Ruth?'  
><em>

_'Harry?' looking up from her work smiling._

_'I was wondering if you had plans for the evening. If you'd like to go out for dinner tonight, with me?' He saw apprehension briefly glint in her eyes. And he added softly , 'Just dinner.' with a gentle smile. _

_He had caught her off guard. The last thing she was expecting from him was a dinner invitation. She somehow wanted to move on with him in a different direction to the one they were going. And 'just dinner' seemed simple enough. Although flustered by his request she, of course, ultimately said yes. _

_The day was busy so that helped fill her mind with data and problems making it so she didn't have to think about being alone with him and what the night would bring.  
>He came by her desk asking her about the reports. He found them almost finished. He lingered there and toyed with her pencil cup, twirling the pens with his fingers. A very unlike Harry thing to do but absolutely adorable all the same. She could tell he was nervous.<em>

_'Hi,' she said with a smile. _

_'Hi,' he was staring at her. He told himself he wasn't suppose to stare. But her eyes were so bright and her skin looked so soft. He couldn't help himself. She looked away and he was reminded of the visit to her desk. _

_'Um... So I was thinking that I would pick you up at yours and we'd head to the restaurant together. Would that be alright?'_

_'Um, no actually,' she said nervously._

_'Oh.' _

_She could physically see his face fall. She carried on. 'It's just- would it be okay if I met you there? There's construction on my street. Big mess.' _

_'I've been known to navigate my way through things much more daunting than torn up roadway Ruth.'_

_'Still I'd rather you not see the state of my home as well.' she replied sheepishly. _

_'I really don't mind. Why don't I drive you home and you can steer me through the disaster zone that is your street.'_

_'I have a bit more paperwork and I just... I really want to get it done.'_

_He leaned in, 'I don't think the boss would mind if it waited till tomorrow.'_

_She gave a small smile, 'I know. I just don't want to worry about it for tomorrow. Why put off work tomorrow when it can get done today and all that.' she looked at him anxious continuing,'Why don't you go get ready and you can wait for me at the restaurant. Nine o'clock at Giamano's, yes?'_

_'Okay.' He turned slightly to leave. 'But don't think for a moment to suggest that you're going to catch a bus home after tonight just so I'm spared the sight of some turned up pavement,' he smiled and she blushed at the thought of him walking up her door step. _

_'Just don't have me waiting too long.' he gave her a wink. Her stomach flipped and her smile faded as her nerves ultimately took over. And he was gone through the pods._

He curtly offers her tea heading toward the kitchen to put the kettle on. She follows him not knowing what to do with herself. He busies himself and the silence is twisting in her gut. She doesn't know how to broach the subject weighing on both their minds. So she does what she does best and skirts around the issue with petty small talk.

'The sunrise was lovely this morning. I don't remember the last time I was awake to see it.'

He doesn't respond. He doesn't know what to say to that. The fact that they could have watched it together had she the nerve enters his minds. But he can't say that. It would be too much and no matter how hurt he is he can't be cruel to her.

'It's so peaceful this early in the morning. Everything new and full of promise.'

'Is it?'

'Mmm. I think so.'

They sit in uncomfortable silence until the kettle's whistle awakens them to the task of tea. He gives her the cup and they walk to his den. She follows. Sitting on the sofa he waits for the supposed explanation as to why she is there.  
>As she sips her tea she can feel his eyes on her as well as the tension between them. He doesn't speak. She knows he is hurt.<p>

_As soon as he left she gathered her things together. She really did have a broken up street and she really did have some paperwork. But she didn't trust herself when Harry was concerned. She wanted him on her doorstep. Hell, she wanted him in her house on her sofa kissing her blind. But she still felt guilty of the happiness he would bring her. And until she could get past that she would try to keep her feelings at bay. _

_Her newly bought pink jumper softly highlighted the tint of her cheeks. She felt it was a good choice along with her black pleated skirt and gray boots.  
>Not wanting to look too made up she lightly applied her makeup and headed out. She would make it just time to '<em>not make him wait too long,_' she smiled remembering his wink and smile. _

_The bright night lights shimmered through the glass sending her mind thoughts of what the night could bring. The bus ride was too long for her excitement yet not long enough for her anxious nerves. _

_She could see couples together through the windows. Flowers hung on the outside of the quaint little white restaurant while ivy twined around the small columns. Opening the door she could smell the spices in the air. She could hear the mingled voices of guests and the bustle of the wait staff. The bar was in sight and she was about to approach the hostess when she saw him. She stopped and her eyes softened at seeing him in his casual blazer and unbuttoned shirt. Her stomach flipped thinking about not the dinner part but the after dinner part. _

_And then it happened. _

_And everything went grey. _

_The hostess approached asking after her companion but she backed away. Her head spun and she left through the door leaving Harry behind. And she walked and walked oblivious to where she was going. She just needed to be away, far away from him. _

'Harry?'

'Yes, Ruth?'

'I, um... I wanted to...' setting down her glass. ' I wanted to apologise for what happened tonight ... last night.'

'Okay,' he said cooly.

'Okay?'

'Yes, I'm sure you have a perfectly good reason for texting me canceling our dinner. Refusing to pick up your phone, making me worry half to death. I even went to your house, on your horribly crumpled street. But you weren't there. I almost had mind to call Tariq and have him track you down on cctv.'

She can hear 'Harry the boss' in his voice as well as the hurt. 'I um- I just,' she takes a breath and speaks again. 'I saw you there.'

He looks up at her. 'What?'

'I was at the restaurant and I-I saw you. You looked so...handsome.' smiling at the thought of him.

His face softens as well as his voice. 'I didn't know you came.'

'Well, I didn't let you know. And I um I...' she swallowed terrified to admit it. 'I saw the box, Harry. I saw you open it,' looking at her hands in her lap. 'And I turned around and left.'

She dared to look at him. His face was crestfallen if ever the word described. He got up and walked toward the window looking out at the slowly rising sun.

'If it makes you feel any better I wasn't going to propose,' speaking to the glass.

'Oh,' was all she could manage.

He could hear the upset in her voice. 'Truth is I've had it for ages. It was my mother's ring. My father wanted me to have it when she passed. Jane didn't like it. 'wanted her own ring.' But when I met you...' he stopped, the emotion a bit too much. 'I knew it would've been perfect for you. I carry it around with me hoping to get my timing right. But I wasn't going to propose to you last night Ruth.' He turns to her, 'It would be a tad cliche don't you think?' trying to muster a smile. 'To propose in a restaurant...on Valentine's day?'

She looks at her hands twisting the pain she feels into her fingers.  
>'Better than a funeral.' she mutters.<p>

He smiles, 'Touché.'

Seeing the tears in her eyes threatening to spill over he quickly kneels before her, him in his underwear, her with smudged mascara. Taking her hands he says, 'But Ruth, you're forgetting,' ducking his head to meet her eyes. 'Valentine's day ended a few hours ago.' She looks at him and smiles.  
>'So... marry me?'<br>Her breath catches, tears flow freely.

'Of all the times I don't have the ring on me.' squeezing her small hands.

She looks at him, her hands twisting in his.

'Ruth?' Doubt filling his mind. His hand brushes her face. 'Bad timing again?'

She shakes her head smiling through her unshed tears. All through the night and early hours of the morning, all she thought of was him and that box. The ring inside and the significance. Her choice and their happiness. Her heart pounds within her and she wants to feel this way forever... with him.

'No Harry. Not bad timing,' she is ready to begin again with him. She laughs wiping her tear streaked face.  
>'It's just,' looking down at their entwined hands. 'I'm going to have to see that ring.'<p>

Relief flooding through his worn out heart he stands. 'Well then,' pulling her to her feet, drawing her near to him. He lifts his hand to cup her cheek kissing her softly on her smiling lips.

'Let me show you.' Gently tugging on her hand. 'It's in my bedroom.'

**So this was suppose to be a Valentine's Day fic. Hahaha! Better late than never. Reviews are my drug of choice. So pretty please, give me my fix. ;)**


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